:D

I think I'm in love, and I'm serious this time.

honestly?

I'd be lying through my teeth if I ever said that the fact that I don't even have to sulk, or even raise my voice by a million decibels to appear to be extremely aggravated or to show you that I'm steaming with anger even when I'm not bothers me even though I know that I am a walking piece of shit who doesn't even deserve to be living in this world because it hurts to know so. (As in, I don't have to be angry to look angry. I appear to be in a foul mood to everyone else. And even looking at me ruins your day.)

Plans for tomorrow:
10am to 12pm- Choir
12pm to 1pm- Lunch & go home etc.
1pm to 3pm- Prepare orientation stuff.
3pm to 5pm- Chinese homework :(
5pm to 6pm- Jogging
6pm to 7pm- Bathe + dinner
7pm to 8pm- Tumblr!
8pm to 9pm- Blog
9pm sleep :)

.

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can hurt like hell.
There’s so much going on in my brain right now I feel like it’s going to explode. There are so many things I want to say but don’t have the words for. I messed up. What else am I capable of anyways, right? I mean, besides messing up/screwing up/ruining everything. I SUCK.

Hi. If there's something you should know, then it's that some walls have ears - so before you go on bitching some negative shit about someone you really dislike, it's best you watch your back. :D

:O

Hi!
Went to collect scholarship money yesterday. Met Cindy there! :)
Ran into my ex-classmates too but none of them recognized me. I WAVED TO THEM but they didn't wave back. In fact they stared back at me with a look that, without any doubt, conveyed the words "are you waving to me?" or "siao ah i don't know you. you wave at me for what?". Anyways my Dad decided to be nice & gave me more money for absolutely no reason at all. Hahaha yesterday felt like money day! Christmas celebration with my mom's side of the family started late in the afternoon.

Then today, I went to church. After church, I went shopping with my mom. I saw Mr. Singh @ City Hall! And bought nothing from the shopping trip :/ never mindddd.

OH just found another ant. Ant count: 7. Its kind of hilarious how they're so confused as to where they are and crawl around in circles. Hahaha and, so I decided to go jogging this morning and on my jog I tripped over what seemed like a rock. IT WAS A CAT.

:O

Bye,
I'm turning 13 in just 5 days!
Hinthint :D

Hohoho

Merry Christmas :)
Happy birthday Nicholas Lim & PJ's mom!

Christmas eve.

This year was probably meant to suck real bad 'cos even Christmas feels crappy.

Bye.
Merry Christmas eve!

ugh

Mass birthday party's tomorrow but my mom's against it (like I even asked for her opinion to begin with) so yea, I don't think I'll be there. I had an enjoyable time with XMC today though :) Took an insane amount of photos and videos with the seniors. Yay.

Orientation's less than 5 working days away, and yet not even a single game for sibling classes has been planned. Trust me, I'm trying my fucking best. But nothing's coming out. Emotions keep getting in the way. I can't get my head in the game. And well yea, whatever, everyone procrastinates - but that isn't a worthy excuse - and this ain't the right time for me to be procrastinating either.

I just want to curl up into a ball and sleep for forever.
But I can't.
Bye. Off to continue with the proposal.

Note to self: Help collect $7 for all sec 1s by the 28th.

Quote

There comes a time in it, where you finally realise; You can’t change it and you can’t control it. But you can certainly go with it, and you can damn well make the best out of it. Regardless of where others may be in it, or how much farther ahead you wish you were in it. You finally realise that it’s okay to fall behind, it’s okay to go at your own pace, and it’s perfectly normal to make your own pathway through it, even though there are perfectly well structured ones right before your feet. It is okay to find your own way through it, in your own time and at your own leisure. There comes a time in it, where you finally realise; You will fall down, you will be hurt, you will be battered and bruised and spend days in tears, and you’ll wish you never experienced it. But you have a choice of whether you fight for it, or you allow it to swallow you until you become invisible. Regardless of how many times you are knocked down by it, and told ‘no’ and you ‘cannot do it’, there’s always enough stamina and strength buried deep down within you, ready to remind you that you can do it, you can live it! You realise that it is so much more difficult, so much more confusing and that there’s so much against you whilst going through it. But on the same note, there’s also people who are experiencing it too. Those who love you, and want the best for you. They will forever be behind you in it, pushing you forward, encouraging you to grow and experience all that it has to offer. Finally, you realise that you’re not alone. And that as crazy as it can be, living it entirely, without reservation or hesitation… Life, is worthwhile.
(Jacinta)

HEHEHE.

This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And I hate to say it, but most of them – actually pretty much all of them - are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.
(Marilyn Monroe)

You know whaaaaaaaaaaat? (hahaaaaa I've got this tendency to drag my words whenever I type them but anyways that's not the case)

I'm happy :)

And when all hope is gone I'm here.

To tell you the truth, I don’t have much to offer- but I’ll still give you everything I’ve got- even if it’s barely anything at all. I’ll give you late nights, longgggggggg hugs. Someone to talk to, someone to care for, someone who will always be there. A hand to hold, somebody to lean on. And if that’s not enough, just know you have all of me.

Cheesy but I'll be your angel :)

Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

So yea.

MLIA

OMG MLIA. I met Jeannine, who's like this really awesome blogger whom I really look up to and all, on a train to Dhoby Ghaut yesterday. She's in SG on vacation but she lives all the way in Melbourne. I formspringed her immediately when I got home AND SHE REPLIED MEEEEEEEEEEE! Now we're tweeting to each other HAHAHA I feel like a stalker (but I'm not). Apparently the both of us have like the same interests and all. Insanely freaky man *hyperventilates* (Btw all links lead to different websites.)

Me: Hey(: I was on the train to Dhoby Ghaut today and spotted you from afar. Nah I'm not a stalker, but I once stumbled upon a picture of your little brother which you once posted and recognized you then. Anyways, how's Singapore? :D

Jeannine: ARE YOU FREAKIN' SERIOUS?! You should have said something! It would be so awesome to meet you guys! Oh and Singapore is really great! :)

YAYYYYYYYYYYYY. Oh I'm going off for a 4D3N camp tomorrow so don't miss me!

as good as dead.

I'm dying of loneliness and boredom,
There are so many things I should be doing but have no motivation to do.
*frowns* I promise I'll try to blog more tomorrow or something.

Edit/ Okay yay, something to blog about! Plans for tomorrow-

1. Meet Glen @ 11,
2. Meet Stephen @ 11.30,
3. Meet Aderic & Angie @ 12 (together with Stephen).

:D

oh well.

(from Denise's blog)
the truth is, everybody's gonna to hurt you in one way or another, but you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.

i'm a diamond that's tired of all the faces i've acquired.

What's the point of coming home early from work to spend time with your kids when all you do is screw up, again and again? What's your definition of spending time with your kids to begin with? You're not the only one living, and the world owes you nothing. All you ever do, is ruin my day. All you ever do, is wallow in self-sympathy because you think that in this entire world, only you are not having things done your way. All you've ever done, is make people cry over and over again. I don't even want to have a fucking douche bag like you as my dad. Stop feeling as though just because your sperm went into my mom's ovule or whatever fucking process you went through which got me into this world, you know every single fucking explicit detail about my life because you don't. Even your voice gets on my nerves now. I even dread going home because of you. I drag my feet with utmost reluctance and replete hesitance whenever I'm on the way home from school or whatever because I know that the first voice I'd hear as I enter this fucking place I live in which would practically ruin my entire day would be your voice. Nothing good ever comes out of your mouth. Sometimes I wish you were mute. You can't even support yourself without mommy. You can't even deal with your own problems because your solution to deal every single blow is to resort to physical and verbal violence. I hate you.

---

I'll show you what I'm capable of, so maybe that way you wouldn't have to fucking talk behind my back again. I'll show you, that I don't have to be a fucking debater or even a fucking debate captain to be good enough. I'll prove it to you. Oh and just so you know, I QUIT WITH FUCKING VALID REASONS SO STFU BITCH. So remember the other time when you told me to watch my back? Well now it's time you watch yours.

---

But then again,


I'm lost. And sorry if I insulted you in any way.

非常开心！

Banner painting session again! This time with Justin, Aderic, Denise, Celine, Stefanie, Raymond, Junwen & Huiwen :D To be really honest with you, the time I spent fooling around was more in comparison to the time I spent helping to paint the banner :/ & we prank called JW too! The process (of the prank calling) was fun, but what happened after that wasn't as fun. It was rather intense actually :P Watching SEA games now! The stadium is rather empty in comparison to like, the Olympics and other major events :O

OMG ORIENTATION MEETING TML IS AT 0730.

Bored.

Junwen. self-composure. says:

yeap

I say:

mrs yeap

Junwen. self-composure. says:

that was random

I say:

but yeap links to mrs yeap

Junwen. self-composure. says:

lol ok finee

I say:

i winnnn

Junwen. self-composure. says:

yess

I say:

yayyyy

---

The conversation above just shows how bored I am right now -_____- Anyways, I'm actually rushing to complete the proposal for tour now (so I'm bored and busy at the same time :O). Random but, MH's glare is scary. He kept staring at me with those bloodshot eyes today at the bbt shop. I felt like poking his eyes with the fat straw I was clutching with my left hand, but I didn't. I looked away HAHA.

OMG I REACHED UP TO MY FACE CAUSE I WAS ITCHY & THERE WAS AN ANT ON MY NOSE. Ants, my nose isn't free accommodation, shoo!

Ohohoh and choir just got back from Europe! Kristie replied to my text that she bought something "cute cute" for me! *beaming with overwhelming joy* PJ & the other dancers are coming back from Shanghai this Sunday too! :D & Aderic's back from Batam alr!

Hoho, I don't feel so lonely anymore!
BYEZ.

AHHHH

Hi. I went to school today but had cramps which hurt so bad I had to go home ): I wanted to paint the banner mannn ): Ohz & my dear Denyse is flying off to hello kitty land (which is like, all the way in Tokyo :O) tonight!

AHHH SAD ):

On a happier note, visit my tumblr! :) I won't blog much today I guess, but I promise I'll try to blog more tml, so byez!

Great day ^^

Hi! XMC got gold + best in category (90.6 points) at the competition all the way @ Bratislava eh! *smiles* I'm so proud of choir! Stuart can take his words back about him not welcoming them back to SG should they not get a gold now HAHAHAHA tsk tsk! Anyways I can't wait to see XMC again mannn. Aye I'm damn happy now, but idk why!

Today's been a great day (: Tour's not complete yet but oh wellzzzzzz at least description's complete alr :D Banner painting was really fun! Haha although my multiple attempts to scare Justin, Denise, Lionel (T), WenZhi and Raymond kept failing -________- booo. At least they pretended to be scared la LOL. I'm going school tmrw as well! Yayyyyy I won't tell you why I'm so hyped up about tmrw hehehe it's a secret! :D :D :D

HI KRISTIE I MISS YOU ):

Okay byez!

):

*waves*
Hi~! I know I've been missing in action for the past few days ): But anyways, I'm back now! ^^
Ohohoh CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!- Today concludes the fifth week of the holidays ):
I've not even completed my holiday homework! *whine*
Ugh and I've got this throbbing headache now. I get really dizzy occasionally, sometimes my vision completely blacks out for like almost two full minutes! Idk why though o.o

Anyways my hair's shorter now! :D :D :D

XMC♡

With choir, I discover an oasis of comfort, security, and all things wonderful :)
Goodbye choir, have lots of fun in Bratislava & jyjy with the choir competition~!

Chiong chiong.

Rushing to complete the necessary stuff for tour now. We're on to the last month of the year, & there isn't much time left! :( Won't be blogging much anymore, I can't find the time to blog or whatever now. Bye.