happy happy, very very!

Hello! (; today has been a really great day for me, woohoo. Met Eric for tour meeting at 11 & joined Cherie, Cassandra, Lionel Tan & Lork, Denise & Eric for their orientation meeting after our meeting ended. We wanted to have lunch together at the coffee shop after the meeting but it was really packed, so we had lunch at Macs instead :D & after lunch at Macs, Colin, Denise, both the Lionels and I went to Compass Point's library 'cos Colin needed internet connection or something for his lappy to function but apparently there wasn't any at the library 'cos there wasn't the cable so we went to Denise's place instead :) We watched 2012 together!

Ohohoh yea, KRISTIE I'M GOING TO SEND YOU OFF AT THE AIRPORT TML. :D Love me~!

Today

Yes! I got new headphones hahaha. Today has been a great day so far, although I didn't wake up in time for church (which didn't really make a good kick start for the day) :P I left home at about 10 today & took the bus to my uncle's place to help with the preparation for Sarah's, Stephen's, Uncle Hoe's & Aunt Juliana's birthday party (; I helped 大姨 with the decoration by blowing & hanging up the balloons all around the living room & 三姨 with her cooking. Quite fun I guess :D Got a little worried after text messaging A but... k I won't comment. Anyways I'm desperately trying to download wlm now, but grrrr apparently I don't have the winhttp.dll or whatever thing ):<

Okay bye!

Lovelovelove

Kekeke I'm in such a good mood today (; Kristie & Justin should know why, hehehe *blushes*. Xinmin had its third open house today~! I had to guide the parents & P6s around the entire school a total of 6 times today, & it was really tiring ): My legs are aching from all the walking, but I guess I had fun touring them around the school haha. Mrs (Charis) Wong wore a really pretty dress to school today. I liked it! (: There were multicoloured balloons everywhere at the parade square too, and it felt really good when I stood at the huge steps with the wind blowing in my direction. Like very cooling! :D Plus the view was really nice.

Bye! (:

Heyheyhey!

I slept well last night (: I dreamed I was a fashion designer, & I made it biggg. I was as famous as Marc Jacobs, I had so much $$$ I could afford for all the fancy clothes & dressed as well as Taylor Momsen. The best part was that I was in NYC o: Hahaha but it's obvious that none of that's ever gonna happen anyways.

Okay anyways I'm gonna spend my time online completing my movie review (: I'm doing my review on The Notebook & I think I'll post it online when I'm done with it.



Btw isn't her dress lovely! Omg *drools*
Hahaha okay bye (:

OMG

Sorry I just felt like posting this anyways oh my goshhhhh I want that! ): Its so pretty ahhh I'll (consider) marry(ing) whoever gets me that HAHAHA *drools*. I bet it costs an insane amount of $$$ though hahaha.

Kekeke

Boring day ): But this post is just to sum up the hols so far. Well for one, Lionel Lork's been asking me for progress reports of my current projects via msn although he's all the way in China. Honestly, I actually wanted to just slack throughout the time that he was away 'cos I thought the entire checking up & all would stop but it didn't. Kekeke gotta be really careful when I'm online now. I might even consider appearing offline so he won't be able to do anything~ And he doesn't have my new number so hohoho, I'm freeeeeeeeeeee. & apart from that I've not really been studying much during these 3 weeks. I've barely touched my books & holiday homework isn't even halfway to completion ):

I went to school today just so I could collect my choir gown :D It was kind of awkward being the only one who isn't going for the trip to Europe to be present during today's practice though, I didn't know if I was supposed to sing or just stand at the back of the choir room & wait till Ms Chia comes so I could collect my gown from her hahaha. Cheryl came too so then I felt less alone (: but I think Kristie's mad at me! she used the "talk to the hand" thing at me. Ahh should I sms her to apologize or something?! :/ KRISTIE WAS ACTING HAHAHAHA.

Anyways I saw the SL peeps at the foyer after I left the choir room! & from there I joined Willy, XinYing & JiaHui for brunch at 1-11 :D Took the bus home after that.

Hahaha hope you had a great day, bye! (:

(:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENNETH! :)

Hahaha okay I began clearing my room the moment I woke up & it was really tiring ): There's even perspiration trickling down from my forehead and somehow there's even some on my neck now so I'm all sticky (but surprisingly not stinky!) :D I'm still in the process of clearing my room though. My worksheets are all over the floooooooor.

Anyways yesterday was great, Kristie & I spent the entire day text messaging but somehow the both of us kept giving late replies to each other so yea. I met up with Claudia, Huiwen & Regina in the afternoon (PJ left for her dental appointment when I came) at some beancurd stall o: Random but I saw buckets of beans everywhere, so cool haha. We went to Regina's place and talked a lot then PJ came again after her dental appointment with really pretty braces (: Ohohoh, Claudia got braces too! Her braces are yellow in colour hahaha like the sunshine o:

Lalala okay bye. :D

Sigh.

Zzz I spent the entire day at home today ): I need to do something much more productive than all I've done so far during these 3 weeks of the holidays which include watching tv, staying online, watching youtube vids etc. My days were never so mundane. Ugh.

I SHALL START STUDYING TML.

Bye (:

Secret.

I want to be in love and I want to understand the feeling other people get when they are in love, but my self-esteem is so low I try my best not to even look at a guy I find cute because I just know he'll never like me, or even find me cute. How will I find love when I'm like this?

Don't tell anyone :l

Ugh

"is a must.. if you all don't even have some ideas.. i will come back and make sure you all come back school almost everyday"- Lionel Lork

I woke up with a heavy heart & a mind overwhelmed with negative thoughts. I could feel as though everything was already falling apart although I wasn't really out of bed yet. Holidays? What holidays? I'm stuck here in sunny sucky SG fretting over incomplete milestones, action plans & catching up with 1E's syllabus while everyone else gets to spend their holidays overseas. What, have I not been working hard enough to deserve even one day off from all this shit?

dear destiny, i think i'm ready now.

Heyheyhey!
We're just 41 awesome days away from the year 2010 *hint hint*. Ahh, I don't know which class I'll be in next year but 202 please! (; I've got my entire day planned out for today by the way hehe.

12 Go offline
12-1 Read library books
1-2 Get ready
2-3 Meet Mommy
3-10++ Backbone checkup, Grandma's birthday dinner.

Have a superb day,
Bye! <3

The listening

15 songs altogether, hahaha I don't really have much to talk about so yea. Happy listening :D

HEHEHE!

*waves frantically*
I had a really great day with PJ, Claudia & Regina today ;) PJ & I met up really early in the morning at the bus stop. The both of us took buses 72 & 28 which brought us all the wayyy to Dunman Sec! We were (kind of) late for the C boys' match between XMS & CHS but at least we got to watch a good part of it hehe. Xinmin lost but oh wells, they really did try their best & that's really all that matters ;D Claudia met up with us afterwards and the three of us chatted a little while waiting for the C girls' match between XMS & Anderson to start. XMS lost again, but then again, they did try their best & that's all that matters! The girls looked really exhausted while playing though ): I just hope the volleyballers will get their well deserved, ample rest before their next training o:

The three of us took the bus to tampines mall after the girls' match & had Macs for lunch! ;D I had my happy meal woohoo. PJ had Mcwings & Claudia had chicken nuggets. We met up with Regina shortly after at the interchange & took the bus which was intended to bring us back to school but we decided that we'd go to the sports hall together at Hougang first so Claudia could pass something to someone hehe ;D We had fun running in the rain although we were totally drenched from head to toe after we ran from the bus stop to the sports hall (boo the route was completely unsheltered omg).

I had a lot of fun & I really enjoyed myself today, hehehe! I hope they did too o:

byebye! ;D

Its all in the past.

Sometimes it’s hard to look in the mirror, to see that face that everyone says is so pretty but it just looks plain to me. Sometimes it’s easier to wake up and forget my dreams because of life, but I know I can't do that. Sometimes, I feel that the easiest thing to do in life is to be depressed. On the other hand, the hardest thing to do is to get up and say to myself that things will get better even though I'm never convinced by that. But it helps to pretend. Sometimes I sit back and watch everyone cry out for attention, and I think, why go to that length to get attention? Maybe they really need it? Sometimes, I wake up in the morning and say to myself, “If I give up today, I promise I’ll always get back up tomorrow & try again.” 'Cos sometimes trying to be a saint and being there for those who actually need my attention makes it easier to look in that mirror. I just feel so but I won't tell you why so go figure out for yourself :) Some of you might have read this part of my post in my facebook profile. Well, I just felt like posting it again, no reason why.

Seriously speaking, sometimes its best to let bygones be bygones. I mean, so what if he once made you cry for more than an hour and if she once stabbed you in the back after you put all your trust in her? It's all in a past. Why bear grudges? Why not let them go and just go back to being friends? Why let trivial matters ruin your friendship with that particular person? Why do you find yourself constantly harping unnecessarily on what happened in past, that you were really unhappy about? Why do you like to cry about it and even let those little incidents affect your entire life? Why choose to have an abstract reliance on what people around you do/say to make or break your day, or even your entire life? It obviously ain't easy to let go, and I'm not oblivious to the fact that learning to let go requires an insane amount of emotional effort. But things take time to heal. All this wouldn't have happened if people knew that they shouldn’t be reckless with other people’s hearts anyways.Strange as it seems, he's the one I'm after.

Just wondering,

How can things change so drastically in a matter of minutes? Its like at one point of time, your stomach swells with joy and then somehow, just out of the blue, everything falls apart and you feel deflated and lifeless. How can you be sure that someone means the world to you in one instant and then in the next, you can’t even seem to remember why your heart sped up when you saw them and your eyes sparkled when you spoke about them? I guess the person that said that life is a roller coaster knew what they were talking about, because sometimes it seems to feel that way. Although sometimes, it seems to feel like life is just some sort of a free fall. It feels like when it’s all over, you’re just going to break into pieces. Like it’s going to be the end of you and you will be forgotten and lost.

I don’t want to feel that way, I want to make this feeling stop. I want to be sure of what I want. I want to know how I feel. I want to be sure that I’m making the right decisions in all that I do. I know that in all of this confusion you’re supposed to follow your heart, let your heart lead your mind (like the investiture theme) and all, but I don't trust my heart. I don't want to be completely dependent on it, because I know it isn't going to make the right decisions all the time either. I don’t want to be scared. I want to have courage and faith in myself. I want to know that no matter what, everything will be okay. But lately I’ve been feeling sort of weak. Like something is trying to show me a part of myself I’ve never seen before. How can I be myself if life is trying to show me things about myself that I never knew existed? I’m waiting for a glimmer of hope somewhere; probably something like the sun's morning glare sparking my fresh start in life where I'll be the person I'm hoping to be- but it seems like I’ll never get to that place, to the comfort I hope to be in. I hope that this is all part of some plan to help me get to a better place in this life.

:D

She’s not like that now. She knows better. She knows now that people lie and promises can be broken as quick as they are made. She understands that she might never be loved and too quickly, good things fly in front of your eyes before you can reach out and grab them. She knows that you can’t change or help time, so every now and then, it’ll just run out. There isn’t a place for everyone in the world, so if you’re standing alone for a while, that’s why. Not everything in life comes easy, but when you work the hardest, that’s when it’s your best. You can’t always expect people to care and even when your best friends stab you in the front, don’t think for a minute they didn’t already aim for your back. They missed for a reason. She has found out too soon, that in the end, you are your own best friend.
----

I've deleted like 6 or more posts 'cos I found them really emotional and all. I've come to a point in life where I've come to realize that there's only one chance in a lifetime to be young and to make mistakes but the same time learn from them. I mean, sometimes we all fall apart right? Its just a phase we all go through. Anyways, the outcome of our lives and our level of maturity aren't decided or measured by the amount of mistakes we make but by how we react to our wrongdoings and how we make up to them. I'm only 12 right! I don't have to fret over silly heartbreaks and trivial mistakes 'cos as Lionel Lork says, my life doesn't revolve around those trivial situations and complications. After all, sometimes the best thing you can do is to stop trying to figure out who you are and where you’re going, and just enjoy where and who you are right now. Simply put, I'm moving on to embrace this life I'm living now as it is, & I'm serious this time (;
----

My mom's forcing me to wear a skirt to my Granny's birthday dinner this Friday ):

Woot woot

Such a sweeeeeeet song~ :D
----

OH! you know, I've been spending the holidays studying! My mom gave me $$$ yesterday & I'm going to spend all the $$$ on assessment books! ^^ Yes, assessment books! :D

I'll edit this post again at the later part of the day when I find something more to post about heh.
----

Yay I just got back from heartland mall! Saw Chervelle at the bus stop & saw Vanessa at some eatery haha. Woot woot I've bought my assessment books already so now I'm broke o:

HEH I just redid my entire desktop background & arranged my folders in the shape of a heart ♥ :D
Gonna study now, bye!

Wicey Jicey!!

Hannah's birthday party was fun fun fun!
----

Boohoo my phone ran out of battery & I'm way too lazy to charge it now 'cos I've got to walk all the way to my room (which is just 10 steps away from where I am) and plug my charger into the phone thingy (I have no idea what it is. Is it a socket?) then press the tiny button which generates the electricity to flow from wherever it comes from to my phone o: I think its going to black out in 5 seconds. Yea it did :(

Anyways I just came back from orientation meeting heheh. The duration of the meeting was (rough estimation) 3 hours! We spent so much time on the last agenda which was the theme & we side tracked quite a lot ^^

XiD meeting's this Friday (like finally lah!). Woot woot, someone won't have to bug me anymore 'cos I've done what he's been persuading me to do~
----

I say:

then raymond hasn't done milestones.

Lionel Lork- Its up to you. says:

zzz..

Lionel Lork- Its up to you. says:

yar.

I say:

yea lol so no deadlines. yay!

Lionel Lork- Its up to you. says:

I can always set..

I say:

o.o

I say:

):

Sometimes I should learn how to shut up :/

Mehhh

HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
HUNNUH
♥
----

Blahhhh no one's supportive of me liking him ):
When I told PeiJun I was happy that he was online, she ew-ed! Ahhh ):

People say I deserve someone better :/
Like who!?
----

Ohyea I've got intensive camp from 16-19 Dec so won't be blogging then.
& my birthday's in 53 days! Woot woot!
Bleh I'm definitely spending too much time online -.-
Helpppp.

If my heart was a compass you'd be North

Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
Hannah turns 13 tomorrow
----

I feel as though I'm on cloud nine.
Yayayay I'm chatting with Peeee(emphasise!)jayeee! now ;D
Ohoh & my mom bought today's lunch from Kay Lee Roast Meat Joint. Yum yum!
I want a web cam for my birthday (which is, in fact, just 54 days away!) *hint hint*

Ok bye o:

MLIA

Good morning ;D

Heck emotional problems.
I'm taking my mind off such things knowing that they wouldn't be haunting me for life; or even for long.

Decided to focus more on academics & commitments instead.
'Cos I'm a student & students study!
I'll study hard, get a great job & make so much $$$ that I'll save Africa from poverty & starvation. Then I will buy everything that I've ever wanted~

Yay me, and my best friend ain't transferring anymore!
MY LIFE JUST GOT A MILLION TIMES BETTER~
Won't be isolating myself after all eh (;

Tell me what to do

Uh I restored my deleted blog then exported it and imported it into this blog so yea.
:/
----

107's falling apart.
It really sucks to be helpless & completely uncertain about something.
Random fact but I think I've shed more tears this year.
----

I'm quitting debate.
Its fine if you're suggesting that I take on captaincy when I'm sec 3.
But when you force me to do something I show no interest in then its over.
Because right now I'm sad enough and I'm sick and tired of everything.
I'm being selfish 'cos I'm fighting hard for every wretch second of happiness I can get.
So if you think that by saying stuff that will just make me feel worse than I already feel will do me good, then you're wrong.
----

I’ve come to realize that you can’t depend upon other people for what you want.
And you can’t be scared to go out there and get it either.
You have to dream hard, wish big, and chase after your goals.
Because no one's going to help you if you're not going to help yourself.
----

My best friend's transferring out of school.
This is the third best friend I've lost in one year.
I feel like killing myself.
I feel, but I won't. So don't worry.
----

Isolating myself again for the week.
Won't be answering calls/replying tweets/replying smses & such.
Unless I feel like it.

Bye.